spirited away is about rescuing your idiot parents from pig hell, a trial we must all face while growing up

(via unclefather)

185,301 notes

lahmps:

i swear to fucking god if any of you annoying teenagers come to my house on Halloween and say “twerk or treat” i will literally travel through the depths of hell and find the most nasty ass tootsie roll thats available and drop it into your tacky ass, cum stained, pillow case

(via unclefather)

157,239 notes

dekutree:

girl: fuck me daddy

me: uhm…ok…m…mommy

girl: what the fuck

(via pruningthisbranch-deactivated20)

182,204 notes

andrewjacksonjihads:

i want someone who will sit on a rooftop with me at 3 am and shave their head while i shave my head and then hotglue the hair to the roof so the roof will have hair

(via unclefather)

355,326 notes
My mom said that if this post gets 10k notes she will finally meet me in the fucking pit

(via unclefather)

13,603 notes